Increasing Personal Resilience

One of the keys to making it through unemployment or business difficulties is to stay productive.  Not “busy”, but productive.  Being productive means taking action that produces results.  Being busy has a lesser goal:  to keep our minds off unpleasant emotion, such as fear.  (Being numb accomplishes the same thing.)

To paraphrase FDR – we should fear fear, or at least have a very healthy respect for it, because fear, not the circumstances around us, is what derails us in a crisis.

I’m a huge fan of stress research, especially the work done in the 1990s by Kathryn Cramer.  I recommend her book, Staying on Top When Your World Turns Upside Down as a step-by-step guide to making it through overwhelmingly negative events (such as the economy falling apart).

I’ve held teleclasses to teach “supercoping” skills, and the one thing I notice people have the most trouble grasping is how to take action in dire circumstances.  The idea of rallying your loved ones around you and of taking good care of yourself are easy to grasp, if sometimes difficult to execute.  But what about taking action?

Your productivity is an excellent way to measure your well-being in a crisis. You won’t KNOW what’s going to work, but being productive means engaging actively in creating it.  If you experience excessive numbing out or getting “excessively busy,” especially when the crisis is no longer fresh, you will benefit by making being productive a goal.

Fear and confusion are two impediments to productivity.  Here’s how you can counteract them.

FEAR: If you are paralyzed by fear, you may be  (a) too alone with your problems and (b) overwhelmed by one aspect of your situation that is threatening your well being.  For many of us, those problems are financial.  My suggestion is to gather your best, most non-judgmental people to help you face into the situation and come up with alternatives.  Too often we “hold on as long as we can,” thinking that is the right thing, rather than analyze our situation and let go — in order that we can stay productive.

My grandfather, a real estate investor during the 1920s, lost all his holdings because he tried to save his largest one, an elegant apartment building he lived in.  Had he moved to a lesser property, he would not have become destitute and my mother would not have been shuffled from relative to relative (and to an orphanage) as a child.

Holding on is not the goal:  thriving is.  You will be amazed at the power of a group of caring people to help you come up with solutions to even the worst problems.  It’s important to identify the threat that is causing such fear and to minimize it.  Holding on to real estate (or a career path or a personal habit) is not as important as holding on to your own well being and potential for growth.  Fear of loss, not loss, is what derails us.  We can come back from loss if we focus on productive action.

CONFUSION: Confusion eats away at productivity.  Not being sure what action to take is normal and healthy when you are in a game-changing situation.  I’ve found it helpful to deliberately structure action into three stages:

Stage 1:  What if? Just write down your ideas without judgment.  In fact, spend time making them into big, interesting, engaging ones.  Not “how can I scrape by?” but “how can I thrive?” The dirty little secret is that if you engage your deep interests in crafting your next move, you tap into an unstoppable source of  energy and you will shine while others run out of steam.

Stage 2: Could it work? Is your idea feasible?  How have others done it?  Is the market still there for what you want to do?  Explore, seek advice, learn more so you can refine — or dismiss — your idea.  A wrong path discarded is just as valuable as a good one embraced.

Stage 3:  Let’s roll! When you have a feasible direction, give it your all and start implementing it.

Each of these three stages is productive because it leads you forward.  At each stage, you are doing different things.  One of the tricks to mastering ambiguity and change is to value the steps in the process, not just hunger for the result.

I hope this helps you.  I’ve made it my personal goal to get better at functioning at this high level; this recession is providing plenty of practice!

Tagged as: coping with recession, job hunting, self-emplolyment, stress, unemployment